All In The Family
by Delenn
Summary: UPDATE:6203Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, now resouled. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?
1. Chapter 1: What A Soul: Angelus

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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All In The Family  
By ~Delenn~

  
  
  
  


Chapter 1: What A Soul: Angelus

  
  
  
  


~~~**Darla**~~~

  
  
Sickening! It's just sickening!   
  
The very thought of that soul makes me want to vomit! And to my boy of all vampires… the potential my boy had. The two of us would have led a massacre through the whole world.   
  
My beautiful, precious, boy ruined. By humans, of all creatures, human damn fucking Gypsies! All that talent, ripped away by a idiotic spell cast.   
  
Powerful magic that made him forget who he was, who he was meant to be. That made him run in fear and pain; made him cry in my embrace because I was wrong and evil.   
  
Nothing would have taken him out; I could see it… the Slayers would have started to tremble at the very mention of his name, a legend. My legend.   
  
I trained him, gave him a second life, I broke him, loved him, and ultimately, I destroyed him. Such raw talent for torture; such capacity to torment, destruction was his forte… I never meant to hurt him.   
  
Demons in hell, I never wanted to hurt him, I never would have! But I did, didn't I? This horrible wreck of our life, our eternity; it's all my fault.   
  
And that childe of his, visions she has. Is that right? Well, tell me now, she sees visions and she didn't see this in time to stop it, to save her sire? Guess it's just something that happens, she can't control it.   
  
Well, then, what fucking use is she? Angelus turned her as an advantage, and that's why I let him. Some asset, too busy with her own childe, useless brat he is, to notice a threat like this. Too insane to even care if she'd known, of yes, Angelus, I can just see how helpful she's proved to be.   
  
The Master always said you couldn't trust damned gypsies, but how was I to know you couldn't snack on them?   
  
My fault… and now he's gone.   
  


~~~**Drusilla**~~~

  
  
Daddy went away.   
  
A horrible little girl came in and stole him away from us, leaving the beast in his place.   
  
The rivers are running blue without daddy here, and grandmummy screams inside her head. I can hear it, Ms. Edith knows, the screaming inside her head, so very loud.   
  
I can't here daddy anymore, he's buried down somewhere in the beast, leaving me all alone. He's left me, left the walls bleeding in sorrow!   
  
I wish daddy would come home, grandmummy is so angry with me but it's about daddy. I don't understand; I didn't make daddy go away. Was all grandmummies fault, I saw it, I did.   
  
Brought daddy a present, and then he went away, with that silly little girl, but they went to different places. The little girl went away like all naughty little girls are supposed to, but daddy… he's still here.   
  
Not daddy, the beast. Grandmummy's tried to explain all this, but I make her angry so then she calls for my William to come take me away from her sight. Even if grandmummy can't see me, I see her, see the ugly worms eating away at her heart when she's alone.   
  
My William told me to stop mentioning daddy, but Ms. Edith thinks that's silly, and I agree. I ask when will daddy come home, but nobody will answer, not even the red moon. I'll ask again tomorrow.   
  


~~~**William**~~~

  
  
Would it really be that rude if I applauded?   
  
I mean, the Wanker's finally out of our lives, if that doesn't deserve applause, I don't know what does.   
  
Of course, I really wish he had taken the stuck up bint with him, the two of them could have gone off somewhere; my princess and I would be fine on our own. Never could get that lucky I 'spose, so the Wanker had to go and get himself a soul!   
  
Actually, from what I've picked up of my Black Goddess' ramblings, it's the bint's fault! Must really be serving her right, all this time yelling about how great Angelus was, and she turns him into a great ponce!   
  
I dare you to tell me that's not applause worthy, go on, I might actually let you live a few seconds.   
  
My Princess is right confused though, seeing Angelus, but not seeing him. Don't see what the big deal about a soul is, if he was any kind of demon, he'd have gotten over it. But she misses him, and that drives me up the wall!   
  
Her precious daddy gone away and all she can do is talk to Ms. Edith about it, can't understand that we're so close to being free. All we have to do is get rid of Darla, and we could do whatever we wanted… whatever she wanted.   
  
Not to say getting rid of that wench would be easy, seems she'd just as soon skin us alive then listen to one word since Angelus went and ate that Gypsy. Again. Did I mention that being skinned bloody hurts? Should be the bitch's trademark, the way she's got it timed so that the skin just gets a chance to start to re-grow itself before she takes it off again. Damn uncomfortable.   
  
She never was this mean before, always yelling at my Goddess now, so I suppose the Wanker was good from something other then hurting Dru. Bastard should rot in hell for what he did to her. Hope he is.   
  
I wish Angelus would come back already. 


	2. Chapter 2: Staked In The Back: Darla

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 2: Staked In The Back:Darla

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angelus**~~~

  
  
Okay, so if I could, I would fucking kill him, rip out his guts and get some practice in for torturing with chainsaws. But unfortunately, I can't really do that, because he had my body.   
  
The soul that infested me, controlled my every move, and finally killed my sire. Yeah, I'd love to see him ruined. Guess I'll just have to be happy with making him watch while I destroy everything he loved! I think that will do nicely, don't you?   
  
Of course, in the meantime, I have a bothersome Slayer on my hands who thinks she loved the soul. Please, she loved the idea of an untouchable, broody, hero.   
  
Hate to break it to her, but honey; I'm not like that.   
  
That's right, baby, Angel has left the building and is never coming back. So, she better deal with it, and watch while I bleed her dry… after all her pathetic little friends, of course. It's never any fun without watching them break first.   
  
As pleasant as that will be, it does not change the rather pressing problem that I'm free for the first time in nearly a century, and my sire is dead. My mate. I mean, I don't know who you have to kill around here to find a decent vampire resurrection spell!   
  
Did the soul just fucking forget that she was my mate for a hundred and fifty years, or did he just want to torture me? Because I've got to give him some credit, I'm not happy with all this.   
  
I never liked not having what I wanted.   
  
So, if I can't have my mate alive, I think maybe I'll just go join her in hell… but what's hell without a little company? That's right, I'm taking the world with me. So what if Dru and her childe think I'm insane, they don't have much of a choice.   
  
Did I mention all humans will suffer unbelievable torment? No, well, consider that a perk of the plan.   
  


~~~**Drusilla**~~~

  
  
The Angel-Beast is gone! Daddy's back, and he'll make them bleed. Watch their pretty little souls rip and tear, like they should be.   
  
Everything's been so ugly without him, so happy. Makes me want to claw the kitties eyes right out of the sockets.   
  
I miss grandmummy, that evil Angel-Beast stole her away just like he took daddy away for so long. I could see it all, but my Spikey wouldn't believe me, even when grandmummy didn't check up on us like she said. Grandmummy would never have left us alone so long… thinks Spike will give me silly notions, she does.   
  
Staked; like the snake to the ground. Carried away in the wind to sit on the moon, I saw it happen, I did, right there in my head. Spinning so fast, but I kept up with it, watched the snake go away, to the playpens of the mousses.   
  
Now my Spikey has to see the stars, daddy told us, promised to make them bleed for killing the snake. He doesn't mention her, but I can tell, there'll be so much blood and the world will just go POP!   
  
So much fun, it'll be! My Spikey doesn't think so, but he's always silly like that. Daddy knows what he's doing; he'll keep us right as rain.   
  
Ms. Edith doesn't understand right as rain. I told her all dreary and wet and miserable, so much fun! Ms. Edith really is being very silly; I think maybe I should take off her head.   
  
Off with her head, off with her head! I saw that woman somewhere, with my Spikey, such anger, but my Spikey keeps saying she isn't real. I told him I can see her, she's real.   
  
Course, I can still see grandmummy, except, I know better then to tell Spikey or daddy that. They'll be mad, because they can't see the stars all around her. The wicked, wicked sun she's locked with.   
  
Stupid little kitty, it's not the sun, it's a box… hmm, wonder if daddy would get me a box?   
  


~~~**Spike**~~~

  
  
Dru, bless her insane little heart, has just forgiven him. I can hear her from the other room saying that it wasn't her daddy, but that Angel-Beast.   
  
Bloody hell! I'd like to have an excuse like that! It's all total rot, that Angelus is blame free.   
  
If he couldn't fucking deal with the soul, he shouldn't get off free. Not to mention, he staked his fucking sire in the back, man! Even I know the rules better then that.   
  
And for what, some damn Slayer who should have been long dead by now. He could've even swallowed his pride and called me, I would've got rid of the bird right quick.   
  
Oh that's right, the bleeding git was in love with her! I've never heard the like. Vampire, in love with the fucking Slayer that's total crock, not bloody possible.   
  
I've seen the Slayer, she's killable, definitely fuckable, and maybe worth turning… but to love her? Angelus was out of his bleeding mind!   
  
I 'spose I'll give the poof some credit though; the soul didn't even bloody tell us about Darla dying!   
  
Don't get me wrong; I bloody hated the stupid bint. Can't say I'm not right sorry she's dead though. Despite it all, Darla was part of the family, part of our hateful little group.   
  
What can I say; she kept the poof the hell away from my Dru! 


	3. Chapter 3: Just Chipped: Spike

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 3: Just Chipped: Spike

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angel**~~~

  
  
If someone had come up to me during my long life an announced that Spike would have a little device put into his head to stop him from killing; I would have laughed.   
  
I'm not sure I really want to get started on the whole issue of secret government agencies that run experiments on vampires, but just the fact that Spike has a "chip" as I'm told, is amazing. Frightening, but amazing.   
  
The world is a lot better of a place without another vampire running around thinking of humans as "happy-meals with legs," that's guaranteed. And despite all the things I've said, Spike was always very good at finding happy-meals, who were willing to be eaten.   
  
One less evil for me to worry about.   
  
Hell, even Buffy's admitted, he's too helpless to be staked. This is the silver-lining humans always talk about, because I never wanted to kill Spike, as infuriating as he can be.   
  
I doubt he'll be very happy having to drink pigs blood just like I do… he always gets angry when we become similar. I don't know why, every time he tries to avoid acting like me he makes a bigger mess of things.   
  
Well, Spike, welcome to the good-guy club, because as the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and you can't beat them anymore. What I wouldn't pay to see you working for the greater good all cooped up.   
  
The only reason he'll be a good guy; Spike couldn't go a day without killing something.   
  
Yeah, I'd so pay to see this. The potential blackmail alone would be worth it. Imagine, Spike, unable to hurt humans… teach him to bother me about my soul!   
  


~~~**Darla**~~~

  
  
If the whole prospect of groups of humans doing experiments on demons didn't bother me, the fact that they got Spike certainly does.   
  
Take backup plan B and cross it out, Spike's out of the game.   
  
I always respected liked the way he hunted, so much contained anger and once he got a little more patient, it was beautiful. The fact that some idiotic humans stripped him of that is abominable!   
  
I maintain my theory that humanity is a repulsive disease.   
  
Poor boy has his own problems now, not worth mentioning that I'm trapped human. Last thing I want is for Spike to near kill himself coming to visit me.   
  
Masochists are so damn infuriating!   
  
He would, too. Spike would crawl hands and knees to get here, half-starved, just to gloat over my deathbed. It'd be quite pleasant for him, I imagine, seeing me human and dying.   
  
That's right, Spike, I'm a fucking bitch, but at least when I was a vampire I could still bite people. Ooh, it'd be so nice to argue with him again. Prove that I'm still on top of at least one game; go out remembered.   
  
It's not like anyone else would bother to visit me, Dru's off her rocker, so that leaves my boys. And wouldn't Spike rub it in so much if he found out I considered him one of my boys?   
  
Somehow, Spike weakened and forced to eat that horrid pigs blood doesn't cheer me up like it should. There's not going to be any of us left, the Scourges of Europe. Dru's crazier than ever, Angel still has that wretched soul, Spike's got some metal stuck in his brain, and I'm human, soon I'll be dead.   
  
Amazing how at peace I've become about that… I only hope that Spike stays on our side, doesn't give in to the spiel of the good-guys.   
  
For hell's sake, Spike, take a knife and dig the thing out! It's not some brilliant philosophy, remember, you like knives!   
  


~~~**Drusilla**~~~

  
  
Floating 'round inside his head, I can see it. Hissing, hissing, little noises, ugly little noises.   
  
They've gone and taken my Spikey away, they have. First daddy went away, then grandmummy; and now my little boy with the nasty metal.   
  
Makes me want to cry, ugly black tears while blood drips from animals. Animals! Come to mummy, I'll make it all better. Follow the daisy field where the moon shines and it'll be all better.   
  
Nasty Slayer has him now, my Spikey, hid him away from me, keeping that ugly hissing metal right where it has no business being. Nothing can be in his brain except me, it's all gushy, my brain.   
  
My Spikey. Mine, not that nasty little Slayer's, she can't take him like she took daddy.   
  
First heads then bodies, have to take out that hissing metal, make my Spike well again. Mummy'll take care of you, just like you took care of mummy when I was ill.   
  
That's what it is, I can see it now; sickness it is, stopping my Spikey from killing. Killing is what he does best; you wait and see, we'll fix him up for a slaughter.   
  
Won't have those horrible little thoughts spinning 'round in his head, make him all twisted up inside. It's crushing the butterfly, snapping off its wings. Not now, stay away; keep the hands away.   
  
No! He's on fire with hot metal burning in his head. Fire, fire…   
  
Pretty little fire, doing rotten things to my Spikey. 


	4. Chapter 4: Good Morning Sunshine: Drusil...

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 4: Good Morning Sunshine: Drusilla

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angel**~~~

  
  
Good old Catholic guilt and Angelus provide a good deal of my self-hatred without much work on my part. However, there was one thing that I always knew I'd destroyed, hell, even Angelus knew he destroyed her. Not to say he felt bad, but he was responsible.   
  
Responsibility, Dru was my responsibility.   
  
I made sure that she was too weak to care for herself, so I always planned on being the one who would care for her. I couldn't have left her to die, despite Darla's demands, so I had to take care of her. Of course, I figured Spike was doing a good enough job or I never would have left him in charge of her.   
  
Still, it's my fault for not checking up on her, not making sure that everything was okay. Left her to fun off with a chaos demon!? What was Spike thinking?   
  
Not to say I don't deserve blame for that part of it, they were doing fine until Angelus got loose. Ahh, there's that guilt right when it almost doesn't seem like my fault.   
  
Then I set them on fire, what, Dru didn't seem helpless enough without being crippled? Not sure when Darla left her, but it doesn't matter, we all knew the rules. You can't leave Dru alone, you always have to watch her, make sure she doesn't set any mobs after herself.   
  
Must've decided she wanted to see the sunrise.   
  
Dru always did have a fascination with the sun; she'd sit just out of reach and watch it, kept the rest of us up till all hours of the day worried about her.   
  
The part of me that sees the greater good knows that this was for the best, Dru's killing rampages were simply by chance. Maybe the hat of that one lady told her to eat everybody at the tea party. I never did understand how that worked with Dru, although that hat experience was hard to forget.   
  
The rest of me remembers, in excruciating detail, what I did to her. Such an innocent young girl and I ruined her life, destroyed her family, drove her insane, and now I've killed her.   
  


~~~**Darla**~~~

  
  
What can I say, I'm pregnant, there's a soul infiltrating my mind… I'm sad that she's gone, all right? Dru, she was the baby of us, and we all took care of her.   
  
She drove me mad with that "grandmum" stuff, but, I was her grandmother in a way, I was responsible for her, and I feel like I've let her down.   
  
Stuck in my own drama with Angel I left her alone, did you know that? We all fucking knew that you can't leave Drusilla alone, but I did. I feel like I killed her, and worse, I feel BAD about it!   
  
I'm sickening, I know.   
  
Staying there was not an option between her wailing and that damn pounding of a baby's heartbeat. We were both healed by then, but I couldn't sit there day after day listening to her moaning about the stars and daisies and crying for Ms. Edith.   
  
I've always hated that damn doll, I don't know how many times Angelus had to physically restrain me from throwing it in the fire just to stop her screaming. And I'll be damned if I know where it is now.   
  
She probably left it somewhere with Spike. Maybe it's still stuck in the mansion from when Angelus came back. You'd be amazed at how coherent Dru can be when she's trying to find Ms. Edith.   
  
It's hard to even imagine Drusilla being dead. She was more than like family, she was family, we destroyed her and she was ours. To keep and protect and hate and… now she's dead.   
  
Having been dead, I can tell you it's not much fun.   
  
More like an endless oblivion of whiteness. Everything about it will drive her mad… or I should say madder. Who knows, maybe it'll make her perfectly sane, but I know she'll be sad.   
  
I highly doubt that Drusilla will like being dead any more than I did. When you've been alive this long, nothing is extremely boring.   
  
Still, I'll miss her, hell save me; I think I'll even miss being called "grandmummy."   
  


~~~**Spike**~~~

  
  
Don't get me wrong, I love the Slayer, but I loved my goddess for over a hundred years. Yeah, she left me for some slimy chaos demon. Still, I loved her for most of my vampire life; she was my black princess, my dark goddess, my everything.   
  
Now she's gone in some blaze of sunshine and rioters flames.   
  
Course, I suppose that's how Dru always wanted to go out; knowing her, she'd had a vision about dying long before any of us would have guessed. My princess did love her secrets.   
  
I loved Dru, not just as my sire, not in some primitive mating way; I loved her, with every ounce of blood in my body. And it hurt, and not like some soppy poet would imagine either. Being with my goddess was a whole realm away from human pain, physically and emotionally, and you better believe that's the soddin' truth.   
  
Somehow I can't quite grasp her being dead… with Buffy it was blinding pain, but I still can't believe Dru's gone. Or maybe I'm just numb about it all, s'not like I'm in love with Dru anymore, and we ended on right miserable terms, but…   
  
Couple years I've loved the Slayer, I loved my princess for over a hundred and twenty, pretty much spent my entire unlife with her… it's hard to realize that she's gone.   
  
And of course the part of me that still wants to be the Big Bad hates the fact that it's really over, no going back to my sadistic little vampire family. I mean last I heard the Bint was back, which means Peaches can't last too much longer but without Dru it'll never be the same.   
  
'Sides, I figure if you could actually figure out what Dru was saying even ten percent of the time, you better be in mourning because if not, you're dead. Seeing as I could about figure her out almost the whole time, I think I ought to be allowed some bloody peace and quiet so I can sort this out.   
  
I may be love's bitch, but I'm still my own demon, and I'm going to miss Dru, despite it all. We had some fun and lots of torture, what else can a bloke ask for? 


	5. Chapter 5: Of All The Selfless Staked Th...

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 5: Of All The Selfless Staked Things: Darla

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angel**~~~

  
  
Everything I thought in that last moment was wrong, I know it, everything I wanted and imagined in that moment was wrong. I deserve this pain and I don't deserve this joy because obviously I'm not as over my demon as I thought I was.   
  
I thought I could make decisions without the demon bothering me, hell, I thought I could distinguish between him and me. But in one moment she proved that I can't.   
  
I know Angelus loved Darla, fuck, I watched him almost end the world for her, hear him bitching about it almost everyday, but I had no idea that I had any of those feelings.   
  
There was Cordy and doing good and everything was right and then Darla comes back into my life in the whirlwind fashion she was always so fond of and everything changes. I wanted Connor from the first moment I realized he was human and ours.   
  
The one good thing we did together.   
  
In that second before she died, I knew that Connor and my only chance at having a child would die if she didn't. Yet, I couldn't kill her.   
  
In one moment all that I've fighting for was turned upside down because I knew that if having Connor meant staking her, I couldn't do it, I wouldn't. I looked into her eyes and there was no doubt that if she couldn't be there for our child, and I wouldn't get another chance to save her, then we wouldn't have a child.   
  
No doubts, just facts, I had already begun planning the conversation I would have with Willow about the resouling spell.   
  
And then before I could look up and tell her that, she was gone, dust in my hand, and there was Connor.   
  
I don't understand it; I killed her before to save Buffy. But I couldn't stake her even if it meant saving my child, even if that was what she wanted.   
  
I love Connor so much, but every second that I look into his eyes I see that moment again, I see every detail from the moment I learned he could exist until I wrapped him in my coat.   
  
I can't even imagine telling him about her, telling anybody about this in more then a line or two. Because when I remember, I don't see an evil vampire, I see the mother of my child.   
  
Her death… Darla's death… hurts.   
  


~~~**Spike**~~~

  
  
Seems like to me that we're losing members of our little club; first Dru, now Darla. Bloody selfish of them if you ask me, leaving me stuck here with the Great Poof.   
  
That's right, I said selfish.   
  
Why did the almighty Bint have to pick now to be selfless, to think of someone beside herself for once and end up dying over it? No wonder she never showed any emotion, always had a bloody brilliant survival instinct she did.   
  
Must've been off her soddin' rocker, I mean who stakes themselves without being utterly insane. More than insane, Dru was insane, but she didn't stake herself!   
  
That's right, got infected with some bloody soul and a baby, a human baby for hell's sake. I maintain that children are evil and should be eaten at every chance, especially when they make you stake yourself, that's gotta be the one thing I've ever learned from Darla.   
  
I blame Peaches for this all, no wonder Darla left Dru all alone; she was pregnant. Just saying that word in the same sentence as my great-grandsire's name makes me about ready to vomit blood. And who had to get involved in yet another prophecy and knock the Bint up in the first place? That's right, Peaches.   
  
Thought the bastard was 'sposed to have a soul, I bet he about lost it with all that, and he knew it. But, you know, apparently the idea of some hell-spawn living and growing in Darla's memory is supposed to cheer me up.   
  
Keeping the line alive, I mean what the fuck is that about? He actually wrote that you know, Peaches, in his all informative letter to tell me mainly he had a son, and the one line reserved for 'Darla staked herself so Connor could be born, the ultimate sacrifice,' yadda, yadda, yadda.   
  
If the bastard tries to end the world again, I am so taking him out.   
  
And bloody hell, how much do I hate all this, Darla goes and dies, stakes herself of all the outrageous things, and I actually miss her.   
  
That's it, I'm the one who's gone 'round the bend. 


	6. Chapter 6: Chicken Soup For The Soul: Sp...

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 6: Chicken Soup For The Soul: Spike

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angel**~~~

  
  
I was the first one with a soul! I was the one who got kicked out and suffered and… I was first!   
  
Damn it, I know it's childish and broody, and dear God, I hope I don't sound like this when I mention it to anybody, but I am so being copied. Forget setting trends, I suffered through my soul, lost Darla for it, lost Buffy because of it.   
  
And he gets to waltz in to some demon and come back out with a brand new shiny soul and a good chance of getting the girl too.   
  
It's not fair.   
  
I mean, sure, I did horrible things, and my soul was forced on me, but it's what you do with the soul, and frankly, I'm scared of Spike with one.   
  
He hung out with Dru way too long for something like this to happen, I'm betting on insanity. That's right, quote me, send me to hell again, add another ten years of redemption before sanshu, but I'm betting that Spike goes insane just the same.   
  
Let's see how well he does with the nightmares and self-loathing every time you look around. I mean does it ever really end? He could come to me right now searching for some kind of answer and after a hundred years all I could say was that it doesn't end. I figure it's an eternal suffering kind of deal; get to save some lives, and the powers get to watch us suffer.   
  
In the meantime, I'm left with the urge to call Spike up and ask him if he understands me at all now. Okay, so maybe I'm looking for a little recognition for my suffering, is that really too much to ask?   
  
Of course, this is Spike, what are the chances he's really changed? Bet he's wishing he'd asked me if it made the demon go away first, because he's got to be going half mad with the battle between the demon and the soul.   
  
Yet, I think I'm proud of him, it's gotta hurt like hell, but he's doing the right thing and he's on our side now. He's one of the good-guys. Welcome to the fight where nobody wins, Spike.   
  
Maybe I'll send him a condolences card.   
  


~~~**Darla**~~~

  
  
Somewhere, underneath this false sweetness that the powers that be are forcing on my every emotion, I can feel. Not the 'oh the pain, the pain' kind of feeling, more like I can actually feel people I'm connected to.   
  
Looks like the vamp grapeline is back in full force, bet you the powers didn't count on that.   
  
There's nothing like being incorporeal, and spewing out some soul-inspired soppiness that would make Spike's poetry look good, to make a girl want to find out what's up with her fellow pack-mates.   
  
Hey, the powers said I'd earn my way back to my, what's this, the fourth, chance? Anyways, they said I could earn some sort of redemption and come see my baby; they didn't say I had to like saying all this crap.   
  
Speaking of Spike, looks like he went and got a soul. How fashionable, it's just all the rage now, isn't it? You know if you love the person enough or some bullshit like that.   
  
I can hear Angel now, 'I had a soul first, I was the first,' brooding over it like usual, oh well, Spike's at least the first to go for it voluntarily. I sure as hell didn't want my child-induced soul.   
  
And over the same damn Slayer no less! If I wasn't sure that the powers that be were messing with my head before, I know it now, I should definitely be feeling like ripping the bitch's head off.   
  
She took my boys it seems, and I can assure you, when I come back, the two of us are going to have a little chat. That is if chat covers killing the Slayer, which I think it does. Because from what my new all seeing powers are showing me is that she's been destroying Spike.   
  
That's not allowed, you know, the males of our blood line are strong, that's always how it has been, and if Dru couldn't destroy every fiber of him, I'll be damned if some twenty-year-old cheerleader is going to.   
  
Oh wait, I forgot, I'm already damned and the cheerleader already did destroy him.   
  
My poor great-grandchilde, in so much pain over the Slayer, I'll have to remind him how much like Angel he is, that should piss him off suitably.   
  
What can I say, I feel bad for him, thank you very much ten-minute-soul, that doesn't mean I won't torture him over it. I'm the eldest from our group, and the second I'm undead again, I will remind him what that means. He's ours to torture, mine to torture.   
  
I wonder if you can write letters when you're dead? 


	7. Chapter 7: Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust:...

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! At least all the normal characters you recognize, I'm just borrowing the said characters. If I owned them, you could guarantee BtVS and AtS wouldn't be nearly such good shows as they are now! The story, my ego, and my soul belong to me, but if you want to give a kind donation, *ahem* I'll loan 'em out! LOL. Yes, I'm shameless, I know.   
  
Author's Notes: As of yet? None. Do you have any idea how hard it is having author's notes for over one hundred stories? I thought not! Hmmph. Umm, just an idea I had, it was going to be kind of like individual journals or something. I'm not sure. But it's only for (un)alive people.   
  
Story Notes: Hmm, how about when I've written it, then thought about it a lot, I'll put in notes, m'kay? LOL. Okay, so, chapter one takes place sometime after Angel got his soul. Chapter two takes place a little bit after Angelus got back. The third chapter takes place while Darla's human. The fourth takes place when Darla's pregnant with Connor. The fifth takes place right after Connor was born before he got taken to a hell dimension. The sixth takes place while Darla's back for that brief interlude with Connor prior to Jasmine arriving. And the final and seventh chapter happens right after the BtVS series final.   
  
Summary: Angelus has been resouled, twice. Darla's been killed, twice. Spike's been first chipped, then resouled, and now he's dead. And what ever happened to Drusilla? Ever wonder how the rest of the fearsome four felt about all this?   
  
Song: I don't want to talk about this.   
  
Rating: 14-A for language and mentioned violence   
  
Date Started: 03/03/03 Date Finished: 05/28/03**   
  


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Chapter 7: Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust: Spike

  
  
  
  


~~~**Angel**~~~

  
  
After everything he did when he was evil, I would think the suffering of others would tarnish the memory. But after everything he did with a soul, I can't help but feel he didn't deserve it.   
  
Spike didn't deserve to die saving the world; he deserved something better then being a pile of dust in the middle of a crater that used to be a hellmouth.   
  
And yes, I am aware that I never thought I would have said something like this.   
  
I was supposed to be the one to die there, and as much as I whined about it, Spike should have gone off with Buffy and lived happily ever after. They should have thought of a future together. He should have been the one to…. Did I mention that I really hated that cookie dough analogy?   
  
Okay, so maybe I feel a little gypped that I didn't get to kick his ass for all the stupid things he's done recently before he died, but that's only a really tiny part of me.   
  
It's lonely.   
  
There's always been someone who remembers me, who has known me before the soul, before this new world. Someone who understood me, knew me; even if we weren't always on speaking terms.   
  
But everyone's gone now, Penn, Dru, Darla, and now Spike.   
  
I should be cheering for the deaths of mass-murders, but all I feel is emptiness at the end of my bloodline, at the end of my family.   
  
I'm all that's left now, and apparently, I've pretty much made a mess of things. My son hates me, I'm officially part of the enemies' corporation, and all the women I've loved are lost to me in one way or another.   
  
Hell, I'm sitting here brooding about how much I miss Spike, aren't I? That should sum up pretty much everything.   
  
I'm starting to wonder about the world, if any good deed goes unpunished because honestly, Spike didn't deserve to die. He was earning his redemption, willingly, and he was doing a pretty damn good job. I should know; I have done a lot of redeeming.   
  
This is probably some sort of double payback by the powers that be; take everything from the first souled vampire, kill the other one when he least deserved it.   
  
Yeah, redemption's a bitch all right.   
  


The End


End file.
